How I ended up in prison has been covered in other stories, but how I ended up working with the San Quentin Warriors is one for the books.
Volunteering for over a year at the prison has been enlightening to say the least, and while the radio show we were working on is on hold, I’ve been working at the media center with the video production program. One of the incarcerated men I work with is also the GM of the basketball teams and asked if I could sit in on a meeting one afternoon.
Since there needs to be a sponsor present at all times, I volunteered to spend another hour or so with the board. They had two big games coming up, The San Quentin All-Stars, and the Golden State Warriors vs. San Quentin Warriors in late September.
The meeting started with a check-in where each man presented any current issues he was having. This included me, so I felt like part of the team right away. I shared some stories about some interesting past connections with basketball and the NBA (including some stories about Bill Bradley and Will Chamberlain), which were totally irrelevant, but I was taken off guard.
Two of the men brought up an incident at a recent game which was the first order of discussion. Apparently, there was an issue about the way one of the coaches approached a ref. They talked for a bit and after a few minutes, the tension started to escalate - and I am watching this unfold on my watch.
Let me set the scene. In prison, five big basketball players, and little white girl throws up her hands in a “t” and yells, “time out”. I had their attention, and so I just decided to tell it like it is – listen guys, you are all very much bigger than me and I can’t really break-up any altercation so can we all just take a deep breath and without taking one myself I continue by telling them that from what I’m hearing, this probably is about much more than that one call.
There was not one second that I though a fight would break out, but I did want to get back on track and didn’t have time to think about how to handle the situation; so I just channeled my Dad who used to coach basketball; and called time. And you know what? The men responded and more than that, they listened. They did not become defensive or annoyed. If anything, they agreed that their positions were in fact initiated by something deeper, which we then explored.
One of the men suggested that we think about what we wanted as an outcome to the problem. Another said he’d be more mindful of the way he approached the ref in the future. Had I a mouthguard it would be dangling Curry style as my jaw dropped observing the conflict resolution skills I was witnessing.
I’ve sat on board meetings and corporate meetings and never witnessed a more respectful, peaceful, positive group of people who didn’t react or pound their chests when approached with something that might have ordinarily be considered out of bounds.
This is when I realized something I’ve been debating a long time. How playing sports translates to dealing with life. I was getting a play by play of the fundamentals that the men learn which is more than the skills of how to play the game, but giving them lessons about co-existing.
I’ve always thought that one of the reasons people feel free to curse out other people and behave like angry rude lunatics is because they don’t live in small town where they’re likely to ever run in to that person again. Without any accountability or sense of community, it’s a big free-throw.
Look at our politics right now and explain to your kids about fair play. Parents and grandparents can’t really subscribe to - it doesn’t matter if you win or lose, it’s how you play the game. The game now is survival and how it’s being played is embarrassing.
Prison is the same same, but different. Incarcerated men have to learn a form of surrendering their territory, deal with manipulation while establishing some sort of camaraderie with men on the same team while constantly looking over their shoulder because in prison they keep a different kind of score.
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