Last Day in Prison - Wait and See

Brian has been incarcerated for 26 years. For the past six years, I’ve been meeting with him on a regular basis at the media center inside San Quentin. Today could be his last day in prison but like everything prison-related, only time will tell.

When he phoned this morning, I asked him if he’d packed his 6x10 cage yet. He said yes, but he was mostly throwing stuff away. He’s seen so many incarcerated men already leave and it remains to be seen what will happen tomorrow when he hopes to find out if he will be released and if so, where they will send him for his parole.

The media department inside San Quentin is comprised of San Quentin News, Ear Hustle, Uncuffed, and various video programs. After the person I was working with was transferred to Folsom State Prison for bad behavior, Brian phoned to see if I’d help in the video department.

He has taken advantage of the various rehabilitation classes and programs and become a skilled producer, director, and editor; making videos and working on documentaries. He’s a natural leader who supports and mentors men and recruits them into the media and basketball programs and when he asked me to be a sponsor of the teams as well, I eagerly agreed.

About a month ago, I participated in his court hearing on Zoom and when one of the lawyers asked me if I thought it would be safe for him to rejoin society, I said hell yeah, I thought he should run for President. (And that’s not an extremely flippant answer when you consider our past elected POTUS.)

I ask Brain about his pending release; what is he most anxious to do? What does he want to eat? What will it be like sleeping in a real bed? Does he want to go to the beach?

He answers all these questions with a shrug and says the main thing on his mind is to see his family; his baby granddaughter who’s not a baby anymore. (And yeah, he supposes he’d like some real fried chicken too.)

I've observed that when the men are getting near their parole hearings, they don’t allow themselves to get excited. It’s hard to trust a system that has jerked them around in the past and their stance is like everything else inside, they will wait and see. Even if he gets the good news tomorrow, it could be a matter of days or weeks until the paperwork clears, and he’s standing outside the prison gates. He won’t believe he’s out until he is.

We were talking today about his prison term which was initially 83 years to life. He’s now 56 and has spent his entire adult life incarcerated. I can’t imagine spending one week let alone one year being dictated to when you get to eat, go outside, take showers, make a phone call, etc., He says you adjust to prison life just like he’ll have to adjust to being outside. I ask him what it will be like to segue back into a society especially one that has changed so much in the last two decades.

I try to give him a glimpse of what the world is like and what some of the biggest changes confronting him might be. I explain that people don’t communicate by talking on the phone anymore. I’m not very plugged into social media, I don’t participate on Twitter or Instagram, but I do lurk on egobook (my name for facebook) and occasionally LinkedIn. Like most people, my iPhone is another appendage that I carry with me wherever I go. I hate that texting has replaced talking to people but I also like the convenience. He finds this strange but like everything else, he'll adjust.

I tell the Judge on the Zoom call that Brian isn’t the only one who has changed and explain that Brian has changed me as well. He will be missed by the men inside who like me celebrate his release but will be left with a space that he filled in our hearts. We know that his freedom will inspire and motivate others with the lessons and skills he’s learned while being locked up for 26 years and since he can't run for president, I know he'll be working for social justice, helping and mentoring others.

I hope to stay in touch with Brian. I know he’ll do well, he has so much to offer. I guess if there’s one thing I’ve learned from him it’s patience, something he’s perfected over the years. Tomorrow, after he finds out he’ll let me know and I’ll report the news here.

In the meantime, we will have to wait and see.